There’s no doubt that your parents have survived frightening world events, whether that was World War II, the war in Vietnam, nuclear threat, illness, poverty, civil unrest, or all of the above. However, the use of the word “unprecedented” regarding what’s happening now is not an exaggeration. And they may not understand it all or what they should do, not because they aren’t wise, but because the news has been confusing to interpret.
As of 4pm on March 17th, the number of confirmed cases of COVID-19 across the United States was only 7,043 cases across the United States with 95 confirmed deaths from the virus. And this doesn’t sound like that many, or seem to warrant the kind of lock-in that we need in order to stop the spread. So, if your parents are seeing these numbers, they may not be taking the need to stay home seriously.
This video from Dave Asprey, founder of Bulletproof, makes the case quite clearly about why we need to stay home, even if we aren’t afraid of getting sick ourselves.
When we first became aware of COVID-19, the novel coronavirus, there were several TV pundits and other authority figures saying that the virus was just another version of the flu. We’ve learned a lot more about the seriousness of COVID-19 in the past few days, and the current advice is for people to stay home, particularly for the next two weeks, in order to “flatten the curve” and slow the spread.
It seems, though, that many people of the older generation may have stepped away from the news, often in the name of not giving in to panic and stress. If your parents continue to meet friends for lunch, go to work, and attend crowded events, you may be looking for support on how to get them to stay home.
By the time you get this, they may have no choice but to stay home, as some state’s are already doing formal lock-down/quarantine “shelter in place” mandates. But, if your parents live somewhere that’s not the case, here’s how we recommend you speak with them now.
Remember, your parents have been through a lot over their lifetime. Speak to them with your own vulnerability about your care for them, and your fears for them, using “I” statements such as “I’m worried that you will get sick and I won’t be able to get to you” or “I’m afraid that I won’t be able to help you, if you need it” instead of saying things like “you are making the wrong decision” or “how could you still be going out?”
Speak to your parents as you wish they would speak to you. Model the way for them, even if they have not modeled the way for you in the past. Now is the time for us all to step up as leaders, and remember #wereallinthistogether.
Next week, we’ll share some ideas regarding personal financial and legal steps you can take to get your (and your parents) affairs in order, while we are all sheltering at home. If you’ve got questions about that before then, please give us a call. We are here to help.
Proper estate planning can keep your family out of conflict, out of court, and out of the public eye. If you’re ready to create a comprehensive estate plan, contact us to schedule your Family Wealth Planning Session. Even if you already have a plan in place, we will review it and help you bring it up to date to avoid heartache for your family. Schedule online today.